Wednesday, September 14, 2011

back to SCHOOOOOL!!


Oooooh I have been waiting for this the entire three whole months of summer holidays....
The first day when there is complete silence in the house....
no screaming-yelling-crying-fighting-"momma this and momma that!!".....and I can put my feet up and sip the long awaited cup of nicely brewed tea...take in the aroma..close my eyes and sigh!!!
Both my devils at school-what bliss!
But the first day didnt really turn out quite like that...
Though my little one was super excited about actually having a tiny school bag of his own...walking down with me to school-skipping excitedly along the way...pointing at each tree and every passing car!
but he didnt really count on his mom actually leaving him and going....
I didnt count on my heart squeezing itself so tight as I turned to go and saw the surprise and hurt in his eyes as they met mine...
In that little nano second we relived all that we had shared together in the two and a half years and I made an involuntary move to grab him and run!!
didnt want him to go to school... not yet...wasn't he too small? wasn't I being too pushy? should I just pick him up and run for our lives???
but then the magic second passed and the teacher lifted him up and tried to distract his howling and gestured silently for me to leave...
I couldnt...
I waited outside the glass door of the classroom....hoping to catch a glimpse of him ...wanting him to see me...trying to call out to him but the lump in my throat was too big.....
and wanting him to start crying again so I could see that he missed me...
that he hadn't forgotten me so soon and that the cars and the trains that he was playing with were not replacing me....
I eventually stopped peeping after getting a few silent gestures from the teacher-but I couldnt go home that first day....
the house seemed too empty if you know what I mean?
the silence too overwhelming and that aimlessly wandering in the nearby mall for two hours was a better option till I could see my little devil again!





2 comments:

  1. can totally identify with this maryam....in fact when Omi's school reopened after summer vacations, i too posted a blog on the same theme...(http://pujachandracreativemusings.blogspot.com/2011/07/bittersweet-ironies-of-motherhood.html)....its true when kids are at home, we want them to disappear and when they are at school- we miss them....hope both of u adjust soon to the new routine...all the best & lts of love :-)

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  2. hi puja-sorry for the late reply...was swamped with work!
    i had read yr article earlier and it was very well written (as usual) :-)
    me and my little one are kind of getting used to the whole routine now-so its not so bad... in fact he is loving it now-goes with a big smile-all excited!!

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